This paper develops a critique of cause-related marketing and other forms of ‘compassionate consumerism’, which draws attention to the mobilisation of jouissance – or enjoyment – within this ideological formation. I explore three cases of compassionate consumerism – Table for Two, Toilet Twinning, and Sir Richard’s Condoms. In each case, I show how an explicit ethical appeal to assist those less fortunate than ourselves is underwritten by an invitation to participate in a disavowed enjoyment of relations of inequality. This enjoyment is procured, not through the manipulation of ‘natural’ pleasures, but through the staging of specific fantasies, which make pleasure possible through their framing of the alien materiality of the bodily drives.