Archaeologists frequently accuse others (that is, non-professionals) of committing ‘heritage crimes’. But is it a ‘heritage crime’ if no law is broken? Is it not a ‘heritage crime’ if a heritage law is broken by professional archaeologists? And would it be a ‘heritage crime’ if, say, a heritage agency were to excessively apply a heritage legislation to prevent entirely legal activities, and thus unconstitutionally restrict fundamental civil liberties? This paper examines who actually commits ‘heritage crimes’ in Austria; and whether it is truly those who archaeologists normally suspect, or whether the worst serial offenders are to be found much closer to home.